Circumspect Speculation

Ai Yai Yai I’m a Little Butterfly

April 29, 2009 at 11:30 pm (Animal Humanities)

 

Delicate and graceful, varied and enchanting, small but approachable, butterflies lead you to the sunny side of life.  And everyone deserves a little sunshine.

 —Jeffrey Glassberg

 

 

 

The song above is “Butterfly.” Hopefully, the lyrics speak for themselves.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy2j8KenrUU)

 

If there was such a thing as a totem plant, I would definitely be a wallflower. But since “totem plants” are nonexistent in Native American spirituality, I embarked on my journey to find my totem animal, instead. Outside, beneath the overcast silver sky, with the wind blowing brusquely through the juicy blades of dewy grass, under the shade of the lone tree in my backyard, I sat in silence. With my eyes closed, I began my contemplative introspection. The majority of my meditation consisted of making a mental list of my personality traits and trying to think of the archetypical animals that embodied these characteristics.

 

Soul searching in a forest. (http://lillucyka.deviantart.com/art/Dance-of-the-butterflies-118301220)

 

My stream of conscious thought during the meditation—which has long since left my memory—has been replicated to the best of knowledge as follows:

Okay. How is this supposed to work? I am…I am…I am…quiet? Duh. I am quiet. Sleeeepy. Fragile, delicate, sensitive. Shy? Yes. Yes. I am painfully, cripplingly shy. Hmmmm. I. AM. I am graceful (most of the time, anyway). I am perceptive, persevering, and perpetually ________. Perpetually? *sigh* I don’t know. What’s another word that starts with “p” that’ll complete my alliterative sentence? Pensive? I don’t think this is workiinnnnggg…FOCUS. FOCUS. Locus. Hocus pocus…I am. I am. I am hard to pin down. At times I seem isolative and withdrawn, and in truth I am sometimes scared of people. But once someone touches my life or breaks down the protective wall I have built around me, I bloom bloom, blossom and grow. I can be the most trustworthy, empathetic, loyal friend to people who know how to pull me out of my shell, my cocoon. Cocoon. Aha! I must be a caterpillar, waiting to become a butterfly…Wait. I don’t really like caterpillars; they’re gross. I want my totem animal to be a butterfly. I think, therefore I am. I think, therefore I am…a butterfly.

 

I have eyes for butterflies.

(http://bntuae.deviantart.com/art/Butterfly-Eye-32746691)

 

After some meditative soul-searching, I came to the conclusion that my primary totem animal is a butterfly. Butterflies are the emblematic paragons of gentility and delicacy. Ironically, they are also quite resilient. Monarch butterflies are capable of migrating as much as 2,500 miles across Mexico and the United States. These creatures, though diminutive in stature, are capable of ceaselessly struggling to reach their destination. Firm and resolute in their goals, they can achieve anything they set their minds to.

 

Butterflies on the brain.

(http://lillucyka.deviantart.com/art/Dance-of-the-butterflies-118301220)

 

The butterfly also describes my nature on a social level. The quiet, tender, caring, gentle characteristics of these creatures echo the type of relationships I have with other people.

To the Native Americans, butterflies signify the soul. Butterflies are also symbols of growth, change, metamorphosis, and transformation. Similarly, as I go through the motions of college life, I am constantly growing and finding out more about who I am as a person. The personal transformations I go through will never happen overnight; they will occur slowly, sweetly, and with time and patience. 

 

The butterfly’s role as my totem animal and connection to the soul are duly fitting. Life is one long voyage of the soul. The obstacles, detours, trials, and tribulations that we encounter on our spiritual journeys morph us, little by little, into new beings. After our spiritual catharsis, we are changed. The butterfly exemplifies a slow, steady, graceful metamorphosis; it accepts any changes that come its way and faithfully persists in the face of adversity.